walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize