yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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