If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize