why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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