i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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