I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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