So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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