yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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