I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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