Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize