I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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