The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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