i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize