WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize