Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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