I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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