can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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