Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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