I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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