"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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