I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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