Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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