dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize