that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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