So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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