brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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