If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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