Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize