halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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