he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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