Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize