Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize