I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize