Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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