i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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