I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize