I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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