I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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