She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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