You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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