I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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