Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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