My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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