you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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