I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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