too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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