Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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