i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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