just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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