is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize